Look Me In The Eye

I guess writing about writing is about as impossible for me to stop as is thinking about thinking. Once those Doors Of Perception have been opened, even if only a crack they cannot be shut. You can only then try to distract yourself from them by taking on as many things or people as it takes to put them on the furthest back burner that exists, or that you can get to,  in your brain.  So in short, I will not judge myself by what flows from my fingers to this blog.  I can be the harshest of critics, at least I know that now, when you don't know that you set yourself up for disappointment almost every time.  I used to be a self-proclaimed perfectionist, but I am now of the opinion that perfect does not exist, anywhere, and shouldn't even be a word.  It is the impossible dream.  As a friend recently pointed out, the moon looks different lately. When was the last time you stared at the sky? I do it often, night and day, and have been since I was little. It is really weird to me to see how people's curiosity wanes over time. They stop asking questions, even simple ones, and just believe the official story of almost everything. What has made a once curious nation filled with tinkerers and kids that like to take things apart into a nation waiting around for the next new cell phone to come out? I have ideas, but don't feel like going into any great detail at the moment.  In order to have ideas, you first have to STOP and think, which society has made to seem like an almost impossible or unprofitable thing to do. And if it don't make dollars, it don't make sense. That seems to be the world's motto nowadays. Seems to be, that doesn't mean it is. I really almost cannot describe my disdain for the television. It, and everything shown on it get way too much credibility.  It is the new bible, or gospel.  The new new testament.  Sports, on the professional level are now blatantly fixed, to the point where even my dumbass can see.  I still watch, and probably always will, maybe not, but it is a habit, and I really like competition, AND, commas.  Why fixed?  Money.  Greed.  Money. Not fixed because someone or some group of people like their team that much and want to win at all cost.  That would seem a little less dirty to me. Can you tell how bitter I am that my childhood love (for lack of a better word) of the seemingly innocent world of sports has been hijacked and corrupted by greed?  When people start betting on fishing is the day I start building my spaceship to get off this rock, but is running the answer? In a very selfish way yes, and I bet I can find an alien who is willing to race me telephone pole to telephone pole, or crater to crater, without anyone betting on it. I bet. HA! Betting is just too fun, especially when it is on yourself.  I recently lost a game of one on one basketball to a friend and after it was over he informed me that was the first time he ever beat me. I got angry inside.  I had no idea I was undefeated in that regard, back in my younger days I would have known, and would have played my hardest to keep that "perfect" record.  It was a mini milestone, it meant I was losing my edge, or so I thought, maybe winning isn't everything but having fun is. You only get one life as far as we know, therefore only one chance to have and share, fun. Stopping is hard, so I could be onto something here, dot dot dot.